Throughout my life I have been bullied, teased, abused, and rejected by groups of people. It has been so painful. I had been hurt so many times by people I called 'my friends.' Sometimes I wanted to run away and not come back or just stay in my bedroom. The emotions always varied depending on each situation. In the end, these types of experiences have always been very painful.
Recently, I learned that someone, who had been very close to me, had been talking about me behind my back. That person shared mean and spiteful comments that were not true. This hurt me so much that pain lingered for a few days. I tried to convince myself that: 'They didn't actually say that. They wouldn't say that. They love me, right?' I realized that I had been abused again. I wanted to run away; I wanted to hide from everyone in my room where nobody could hurt me.
Blessings of Family Support
Then a blessing came—I was able to talk with my mom and family.
I sought comfort from those whom I knew I could trust. Talking to them helped, but somehow it did not get rid of the pain. The feelings of hate, resentment, and anger began to resettle in my heart.
Something else helped; I recalled memories of those who love me. I thought of my mother holding me when I have sobbed; my father, having fun with me in Japan; my brother, making me look so fresh with stellar haircuts; and my sister, going on hikes with me and just being real with me.
After taking the time to reflect on such special moments, I looked at myself in the mirror and said: 'I deserve to be loved.” I have chosen to seek friends who will not hurt me. I am worth the respect and common courtesy that every human being deserves. As the Lord has revealed, “Remember the worth of souls is great in the sight of God” (Doctrine and Covenants 18:10).
Jesus Christ Teaches Love and Forgiveness
Next I focused my thoughts upon my Saviour and all that He has done for me. I remembered Him on his knees in the Garden of Gethsemane where “being in an agony, he prayed more earnestly: and his sweat was as it were great drops of blood falling down to the ground” (Luke 22:44). I remembered my Saviour nailed to the cross, and the “soldiers also mocked him” (Luke 23:36). After his death, one of the soldiers with a spear “pierced his side, and forthwith came there out blood and water” (John 19:34). My Redeemer bled and died for me. I remembered my Saviour being resurrected for me. When Jesus appeared in the midst of His disciples, He comforted them with these words, “Peace be unto you” (Luke 24:36). My Lord and Saviour gave His all for me.
With these thoughts, I dropped onto my knees to pray, plead, and listen to what Heavenly Father wanted me to learn from these experiences. Suddenly, I found myself forgiving. Jesus counselled in the Lord’s Prayer: “And forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors” (Matthew 6:12). I realized that I could forgive others, and I could forgive myself. The pain melted away, the tears dried, my head was held high.
In the end, what affects me most is my faith in Heavenly Father and His Son Jesus Christ and in the Holy Ghost. That faith is what now sustains me.