One of the “Ideas for Family Scripture Study and Home Evening” for January 25-31, 2021 lesson suggests, “share with your family how [God] has spoken to you.” What follows are a few personal experiences when my mind and heart were guided to trust in the Lord.
Walking Home with a Heavy Heart
After a long week of work as a lawyer, I was mentally tired from many emails, phone calls, and client meetings. I walked home from work with a heavy heart and tired mind. I breathed the fresh air and told myself that I needed to be happy for my wife and kids when I got home in 10 minutes.
I walked through the door to be met with busy and excited kids wanting to wrestle, play, and tell me all about their day. My wife also wanted to visit and connect and have a break. I did my best to play with my children and show interest and listen intently to my wife that evening. By 10:00 p.m. I was exhausted, but I felt I had done my good duty to my family and career. I said a tired prayer and got in bed. I wasn’t expecting what would happen before I fell asleep or the next day.
Listening to My Wife’s Viewpoints
Before bed my wife wanted to visit with me more about something that had been on her mind for weeks. She graciously said she wished I would be more romantic and show that I treasure her more. She kindly told me some specific ideas she was hoping that I would consider.
As I listened, I initially felt defeated, a failure, and somewhat angry. I thought that I had been doing my duties as a kind husband, being a good listener, and serving as a dutiful father. I blamed my challenging career for draining me of extra energy to show attentive love and affection. I was sacrificing for my family every day, but it didn’t seem to be enough. I didn’t know if I had more to give. I felt like turning off and tuning out of my family relationships for a while.
Persistently Praying for Christ’s Guidance
In those moments of dark discouragement, I decided to roll over and pray before I went to sleep. I told the Lord that I was sad and disappointed in myself. I told the Lord that I felt defeated and a failure. I asked the Lord to help me feel love and to show my wife that I cherished her. Despite this prayer, I fell asleep with a heavy heart.
I woke the next morning still feeling dark and worrying about the demands of the day. My prayer that morning was more desperate and heartfelt than the night before. In fact, my heart felt broken. I told the Lord that I felt a desperate need for Christ’s grace and mercy and guidance with my marriage, my family, and my career. I asked to feel that my profession was pleasing to Him and a service to others. I wanted to feel Heavenly Father’s confirming love throughout the day. I asked God to help me show my wife that I truly loved and treasured her.
God Spoke Peace to My Mind
That day turned out to be different than many previous strenuous workdays. Throughout the day, light and love flooded into my spirit. I felt greater empathy and understanding for my clients, and I felt specific guidance on advice to give and ways to advocate for them. I also started receiving spiritual insights about how to show more devotion and attention to my wife and family.
As I walked home that dark night, I felt that the Lord had heard me, and I had renewed hope to face my challenges. I looked up and saw the light of the stars and felt the pure light of Christ. I was grateful for the Lord of the Universe having mercy on me and filling me with light and love.
Since that day, I have been amazed at the specific promptings and ways to show my wife that I adore her. The Lord has blessed and renewed our marriage and our family. In my work, God has enlightened me to find ways to help others and mediate conflicts in a better way. I realized that my relationship with Christ and with my wife and children was what I treasure.
I know that I can come to the Savior with my broken heart and be filled with His healing light and love. I know these scriptures to be true: “Behold, thou knowest that thou hast inquired of me and I did enlighten thy mind; and now I tell thee these things that thou mayest know that thou hast been enlightened by the Spirit of truth … cast your mind upon the night that you cried unto me in your heart … Did I not speak peace to your mind concerning the matter? What greater witness can you have than from God?” (Doctrine and Covenants 6:15, 22-23).