Heavenly Father knows His children and responds to their needs in various ways. Often, it is through the intervention of another person who becomes a catalyst in solving a dilemma.
An example of this from the scriptures is the intriguing vignette of Abigail and David, the future king of Israel (1 Samuel 25). In brief, David and his band of warriors gave service to a rich man, Nabal. When David asked for provisions for his band as payment for his service, Nabal refused. David was furious and vowed to slay every male in his household. When Nabal’s wife, Abigail, learned of David’s intentions, she took control of the situation. She told her servants to gather the provisions David needed and then hurried to stop him. When they met, Abigail humbly asked forgiveness for her churlish husband’s actions. David immediately recognized that it was the Lord who had sent Abigail to him. He accepted her offering and, more importantly, abandoned his murderous plan (1 Samuel 25: 32-35).
Just as the Lord sent Abigail to save David at a critical juncture in his life, the Lord has responded to the needs of my family at least three times in my life by providing us with an “Abigail.”
Abigail # 1 gives inspired advice
In 1968, my wife Betsy, our three-year-old daughter, and I left Vancouver, B.C. and headed for Provo, Utah, where I would become a thirty-year-old freshman at BYU (Tom Roulstone, https://ca.churchofjesuschrist.org/seek-learning, Oct. 16, 2023).
By the time I was a sophomore, we had a second child, and Betsy was pregnant again. Until then, we had managed to finance my education, mainly through my summer work, but with a third child coming, it appeared that I might have to interrupt my schooling.
One day, my next-door neighbour and I were chatting, and I confessed that I might not be able to continue at BYU. The next day, he brought me a newspaper clipping announcing that BYU was accepting applications for the annual Hinckley scholarships. I did some research and determined that I would not qualify. When my neighbour learned that I had not applied, he became our “Abigail” by strongly encouraging me to make the effort. To please him, I did apply. To my surprise and delight, I received one of the $1000 scholarships, which allowed me to continue my studies and eventually graduate.
Abigail #2 blesses our family
Several years later, I was teaching college history in Campbell River, B.C., and Betsy was pregnant with our sixth child. I mentioned to one of my colleagues at work that my family desperately needed a bigger house. With mortgage rates over 20%, it was impossible. She told me of a provincial government plan to provide a limited number of 8.5 % mortgages. Campbell River was allotted twenty of these. When the application day arrived, I drove to the credit union and was surprised to see a line stretching out of the building, down the street and around the corner. I didn’t join the line.
A few days later, my colleague informed me that the deadline for applications was ending that day. My “Abigail” again encouraged me to apply. The credit union manager said that the plan was over-subscribed, but I still could apply. I did. Shortly thereafter, I was shocked to learn that I had been approved. Apparently, several of the applicants ahead of me didn’t qualify. With the mortgage in place, we were able to build a house large enough for our growing family.
Tragically, in 1985, Betsy passed away (Tom Roulstone, “One Last Time”). After Betsy’s death, I entered what I term my “wilderness years.” These two decades (1985-2005) were full of, to use Kipling’s words, “Triumph and Disaster.” (Rudyard Kipling, If, in Rewards and Fairies, [1910]) I tried hard to take Kipling’s advice and “treat those two impostors just the same” (Kipling, If), but it was not easy. Despite some triumphs, such as publishing several Latter-day Saint historical fiction novels, these years were characterized by profound loneliness: “It is not good that…man should be alone” (Genesis 2:18).
Abigail #3 brings love into my life
Many years later, an “Abigail” introduced me to Serenity Borrowman at a church social. Ironically, Serenity was 43 years old, the same age as Betsy when she passed away. I was 66.
A few weeks before we met, she had ended a marriage engagement. She made it clear to me that she was not looking for romance, only friendship. After years in Alberta, she had come home to her birthplace on Vancouver Island to continue her career as an elementary school teacher. Not long after our meeting, she was invited to Calgary for a job interview. She didn’t want to return to Alberta, but the position was exactly what she wanted. The interview went well. Meanwhile, she needed a ride back to the Island. As it happened, several of my friends needed to go to Alberta, so I drove them there and brought Serenity home. While in Alberta, Serenity and I attended an endowment session in the Cardston Alberta Temple. After the session, a temple worker asked if we could help in the sealing room. As we knelt at the altar holding hands, I noticed tears forming in Serenity’s eyes.
Back on the Island, Serenity and I continued our friendship. She was offered the position in Calgary but turned it down. Four months later, on a promontory overlooking the Strait of Georgia, I asked her to marry me. Only then did she explain why she had become so emotional in the Cardston Temple. She suddenly saw me not only as an older friend but as a potential husband. We were married in the Salt Lake Temple. At the end of 2024, we will be celebrating our 19th anniversary.
Although I can’t recall the real names of my three “Abigails,” I appreciate their impact on my life and, like David, believe they were “sent” to me by Heavenly Father. The ultimate “Abigail,” of course, is Jesus Christ, who was sent to earth to save us from sin and guide us home to our Heavenly Father (John 3:16). He is our Savior and Redeemer, and all that we have, we owe to Him. May we remember Him, follow Him, and acknowledge Him always.